What are the five love languages? Everything you need to know.
You may have heard someone say they have a “language of love.”
In fact, love is more than just a four-letter word, and when it comes to love, we all communicate the feeling differently. Some people prefer to express their affection through handwritten letters. Others are more grateful when their significant other cooks dinner for the date night.
According to Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, our love languages can teach us a lot about how we approach love and relationships, and can help us identify our preferences in ourselves and in loved ones.
It doesn’t take a love linguist to find out your love language. Once you do this, you may be able to connect more and get even closer to your loved ones.
what is my love language
There are a few ways to determine your own love language.
The first is The Love Language quiz. Sourced from the official Love Languages website, this test asks a series of this-or-that questions to identify your primary love language. Once you finish the quiz, there are percentages to compare how related your love style is to the five love languages.
If you don’t want to take the test, you can find out your love language by writing down what makes you feel loved the most. Think about how you prefer to receive affection from others. You may find that you have more than one love language.
All in all, your love language outlines your personal love style. Although there are five classifications, a person’s love language is unique to them.
Just curious: We are here to help with life’s everyday questions
Types of Love Languages Explained
The term “love language” comes from marriage counselor Gary Chapman’s 1992 book The Five Love Languages.
According to Chapman, there are five ways people best express and experience romantic love, which means five “love languages”:
- official acts
- receive gifts
- quality time
- words of affirmation
- physical touch
act of service: At “Services” actions speak louder than words when it comes to love. This could mean that you prefer it when your romantic partner helps you with a project or does a chore for you, like picking up the weekly groceries or cleaning the house.
Get gifts: Contrary to what you might think, receiving gifts is not about being materialistic. Those with this love language feel most loved when their partner gives them something heartfelt and meaningful, no matter how big or small the gift. Examples include giving flowers at random or buying something your partner says they need.
quality time: “Quality Time” is exactly what it sounds like; spend lots of undivided time with your partner. This can be walks, a picnic, or just one on one and enjoying each other’s company.
Word of Confirmation: “Word of Affirmation” lets literal words take over love communication. For this love language, people feel most reassured by praise, compliments, and overall open, positive communication. Examples of this include thanking your partner for completing a task, expressing appreciation, and of course saying “I love you.”
physical touch: “Physical touch” is also self-explanatory. This love language is rooted in appropriate physical interaction, such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or kissing.
Is your love language what you give or what you receive?
As defined by Chapman, your love language refers to how you receive love. It illustrates what makes you feel most valued and emotionally fulfilled.
However, how you choose to receive love may be different than how you give it to others. While you may prefer receiving gifts, you may not like giving gifts. The same goes for any other love language.
Fact vs Fiction: Myths about long-term relationships that can hurt your love life
You hurt someone you love: How to apologize in a way that makes a difference
Different styles: What to do if you and your partner have different love languages